Character Scene

 For literacy we have been making characters with making deliberate chooses on what they say and how they say it, how a they walk and look like and their environment. 

So in a group, Sophie B, Olive and I wrote a scene about a knight and a princess going on a quest. My main character is Persephone that is why her dialogue is in blue.

Today we had to get into pairs and highlight each others work. 

Environment - green, appearance - yellow, actions - red, words - blue.

Overall I think I need to add more to appearance and environment. 

This is the first page of my scene.

 EXT. FOREST - DAY  

Persephone and Mary walking in the forest. Mary holding her dress and stepping carefully. Persephone walking up straight in bold armor.

MARY (with loathing)

Fie! I misprise the forest with all the no more brain than stone mud and dirt! We couldst die out hither!

 

Mary kicks some stones and then falls down. Persephone sighs and helps her up.

PERSEPHONE 

Mary! Thou art brother hast been stolen by the Redmond kingdom and thou art out h're complaining 

Mary huffs and keeps walking with Persephone. After a few seconds the shot changes to Mary's face, close up shot.

MARY

How didst thee even becometh mine own brother's knight? thou art just a mistress, thee can’t do whatever thee wanteth.  Thee shouldst be cleaning and s'rving thy husband 'r something

Shot changes to Persephone's face and then back to front view of both of them, middle shot. 

PERSEPHONE

A mistress can do everything a sir can do and bett'r. Thee has't grown up being toldeth your nothing just because thou art a mistress thee has't to has't a husband to be valid and be love.  At which hour very much all thee needeth is yourself and some sort of weapon

Changes to Mary's face with a confused face, close up shot. Mary changes her face to calm.